Three ways to negotiate awkward situations during family visits.
The holidays offer up just as many issues as side dishes at times, and skillfully navigating through the mine-field of family drama and politics is a dance that very few can master – myself included. My tribe is made up of two divorcées who remarried with kids – a wifey from a Spanish culture with a fiery attitude (that would be me) – and a hubby from a staunch English background.
I can feel the eyes rolling now, so we obviously have enough awkward for every spice in the rack. Awkward is most definitely the spice in our life.
Family affairs start off with the best of intentions. Everyone is courteous at first, friendly, and nearly always, Momma takes on the lion’s share of the work. After all, we want to make sure our love is portrayed through our efforts – noticed or unnoticed by the holiday hoard.
Which is why when things go down that “long and lonely road,” I feel like a drifter who never seems to find what they are looking for… peace, tranquility, normal happy family conversations. You know, the unicorn of holiday meals.
Music makes us happy.
But I digress. While not every Momma enjoys White Snake and classic rock, I have unearthed a cure for family drama. Much like garlic to vampires, music is the best way to ward off family stresses at the holiday table. It doesn’t matter if you love the 80’s & 90’s, grew up in the 70’s, or are a fan of whatever the 2000’s gave us.
Music surpasses the ages. Keeping this in your arsenal as Aunt Mabel starts discussing a cringe-worthy topic about how today’s youth is wasted on people without taste and morals just after you’ve said grace, will give you the grace needed not to lunge yourself across the table.
This is exactly the conversation that unraveled at my house. Undoubtedly, this topic sent the family shindig dangling precariously close to anarchy as 80% of the guests were under the age of 30.
“We’re young, and we’re bored,” to quote Ke$ha – especially with quarantine, but bringing up that time Aunt Mabel introduced me to Bobby Darin’s Mack The Knife – on her old 45, somehow jogged my son into talking about Michael Bublé, and just like that the family dove into Robbie Williams from the UK, Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack, making it all the way to Queen & Adam Lambert.
Exhaling with relief, I knew that the wicked family drama which was lingering overhead had been momentarily forgotten like a bad dream, and the next sip of Prosecco tasted like victory.
Prosecco also makes us happy.
In case you were wondering, Prosecco is the second best way to cure family drama. When all else fails, copious amounts of Prosecco will eliminate all family drama; however, before that happens, we should try our very best to exercise all other methods of patience, love, compassion, and non-homicidal techniques – including loving your family from a distance.
If you have littles in your life, family reunions will always, and I mean ALWAYS, provide loving criticism on how you can parent in an all together better way. Mothers & grandmas almost always share their well-intentioned advice with us in an effort that we should see the “light” and correct the error of our misguided ways.
Last I checked, littles of any age still don’t come with an owner’s manual, and we now have a plethora of things to deal with that didn’t exist thirty or forty years ago. So when “ya’ll make me loose my mind up in here,” please know that I am trying my very best take in Grandma’s advise while silently wishing she had been run over by that reindeer.
This is usually the time I start checking everyone’s wine glasses to make sure refills are done – to the brim. If glasses are full, everyone is sipping – and if people are sipping, lips are not moving.
Food is the third and final piece of the happiness puzzle.
Dessert normally comes around by this time, and that means cake. Cake, pies, cookies – it all makes people happy. Good food is the third cure for family discord. This is usually the point where everyone is stuffed and starts to let down their hair. They’ve all had their fill of wine and yummies, and we’re now about to splurge on cake.
The belts and buttons come undone, and caution – as well as opinions – are thrown to the wind. It’s the Age of Aquarius and this point. People are laughing, doing karaoke out-bursts at the table – which can be used as blackmail later, trust me. Keep the phones out, Momma.
“The moon is in the seventh house… and peace is guiding the planets and love is steering the stars.” Family awkwardness has been left far behind us.