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Wardrobe Malfunctions: Grin and Wear It

Ursula Gibbons

Sometimes you get a surprise that isn’t so welcomed.

One of my many passions is wildlife photography, so I am no stranger to getting dirty, sandy, or even getting bitten by the ever-fearsome Florida mosquito. You know – the one who whispers, “Don’t worry about a sting, Mon,” as it drains a pint of blood before you can manage to slap at it.  

It was on such an evening that I found myself at Delnor-Wiggins Pass State Park in Sunny Southwest Florida, taking pictures of the sunset.  You must love the sunset over the Gulf of Mexico – the sun kisses the clouds with oranges and pinks, and the water answers back in beautiful reflection. 

Wardrobe Malfunctions - Grin and Wear It - Ocean Photography
Susn Dybvik

I stood there, feet planted in the surf, wearing my favorite blue jean cut off shorts and a t-shirt that reads “Get Wiggy with It!” As the sun dropped lower, so did I. I was looking for that sweet spot when the waves are backlit and that pink glow shines through. 

Lower, lower, and JUMP! The waves like to sneak up and slap you when you aren’t paying attention.  No worries, though – I’m a pro. I manage to lift my camera up before the wave hits. 

All good, I got the shot.

I packed up my gear and headed home – just one quick stop at the store so I can grab something to eat while I edit and bask in my wild, nature-girl glory.  I jumped out of the car just as the endorphins from being by the sea hit.  Cue the song “Staying Alive” playing in my head as I strut through the store. 

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I refrain from doing a spin and pointing a finger in the air as I get to the check out. I see a gentleman in the next aisle give me a glance and think, yeah, I still got it.  I thank the cashier with a wink, grab my grub, and I’m singing in my head again.  “Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk…” 

Wait, am I a woman’s man? Hmm, there is mister look-my-way, lookin’ my way again.  I nod and he looks perplexed.  He then looks at my pants!  WTH dude, you amped that up quick.  He glances at my face with a look of worried confusion then heads off towards his car. 

I’m thrown at this point and the Bee Gees have left the building.  Looking down at my shorts, I stop dead in my tracks and burst out laughing.  The rogue wave that gave me the sweet shot also hit me right in the crotch and in-between the thighs.  Here I am, thinking I look cute, and instead I’m attracting attention because I’m strutting through the store in what looks like just pee’d-in pants… 

Now, I’m in the parking lot laughing, ’cause what else can I do other than grin and wear it!

fashion wardrobe malfunctions

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